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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Getting better all of the time!

Time is a great healer, we've all heard. It may be hard to believe that we can ever heal when we've been hurt by someone we love. We tried hard. We gave everything we had; often to the point of neglecting ourselves and our needs. If the person causing you such grief is out of your life, that's good! You can now begin healing.

It will take time; it will not be an easy time. If you have a good friend who understands you and is wiling to listen without judging, that will be a help. Counseling if you have access may also be a help. Try to create a support system for yourself.

Along the way you will likely have the question "why????" screaming in your head. That's normal but don't spend a lot of time thinking about why. You've expended too much energy already on the creep and you now have to spend some time on you!

When a relationship of any sort ends, your whole routine is thrown off. If you talked to someone at a certain time each day, or had any kind of routine that is now gone, it is normal to feel at odds, at loose ends, even craving the interaction. That's normal. Normal, but it must be dealt with.

Dealing with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath or even toxic person, will make you feel emotionally spent, drained. You may have even forgotten what it is that you enjoy but you will get there! Small steps add up over time.

Some deal with a loss of relationships by over eating, over sleeping, drinking too much or turning to other substances in an effort to "forget" or get by. What you want are healthy replacements in your life!

Please don't search out a replacement relationship right away. You have to heal and feel that you are happy and in control of your life. Only you can fix you! And that is as it should be.

Give yourself some time to feel the stages of grief. There will be days when you feel great but then there will be days when you are sad, longing for the relationship. You know that the relationship was bad for you but you may be too focused on the good times you had. Would those brief good times be worth going back into a hurtful relationship? I thought not!

But it is natural, normal, to have good and bad days. What is helpful is to create for yourself new, healthy routines. Get up each day and take care of your needs--showering, eat something. Lying in bed or staying at home won't help. Take a walk or do something you enjoy. Take up a hobby that will occupy your hands and mind. Time will help. There may always be pangs of missing the one you once loved. Just be kind to yourself and remember that is normal!

Thriving After a Toxic Relationship: Not Just Surviving!

Copy Julie Clark 2014. All rights reserved. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.